Poopert, It's Worth It.

I can not relate to you the entire story but I can slice you a thin piece of one of the more entertaining things that happened to me today. I will only tell you the necessary details. It's almost too good to tell.

I'm painting a woman's house with my brother-in-law. He is a fearless man. The woman we are painting for has had it with the carpenter who is working at the house. He is always complaining and rarely working. His name is Robert. The woman we are working for, Emily, is very picky. She left stickies all over the walls on spots she wanted touched up or spots that she was unhappy with. When we get to work, there is usually a piece of paper detailing our work for the day. It is written in a sharpie marker in a distinct script.

Two nights ago Emily called me to see what time I could be there the next morning. During our exchange, she asked me about Robert. She told me she had had it with him and she wanted to know if I knew of anyone else who could finish the job. She complained of his complaining and his lack of production and then, well she began to complain of his pooping. She is from China and her accent makes the word "poop" or the word "pooping" sound very funny. It may also be funny to hear the word used in such a serious way. She said that Robert pooped all over her new toilet and didn't clean it up. She said even her four year old knows better than to poop everywhere and not clean it up. Apparently she left him a note on the toilet yesterday that said, "We are not babies anymore Robert, we do not poop all over the place." He in turn left her a note saying that her note was very unprofessional and immature. I love when this stuff happens and I just get to watch. I could barely control my laughter while I was on the phone. I had it on speaker phone and my wife was listening in. I kept asking questions so that I could hear her say poop again seriously.

So, we arrive today and read our Sharpie scratched notes and begin our tasks as does Robert. When it is time for lunch Robert leaves. I was in a particularly saucy mood today. I had already wrapped electrical wire around the little hose sprayer that is usually to the right of your sink, so that when Robert turned on the sink he would get sprayed. In a stroke of genius I used an electrical wire scrap that the electricians had left behind as to pass the blame to them. While Robert was away, brilliance struck once again. I felt it was time for me to put my mastery of painting and drawing and knowledge of classical fine art to work. I perfectly forged a note in Emily's script that read,

Robert,
Poop at home!! No pooping here!!
Emily

I ran to show my brother in law, who has an infectous giggle, and then quickly put the note on the toilet. Robert, (or Poopert as we had begun to call him through uncontrolable laughter every time it was uttered) as if it had been scripted, came home from lunch minutes later and headed straight for the pooper. 25 minutes later he emerged holding a note in his hand. Fear struck...

Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of "Poopert, It's Worth It." I like the idea of a serial that leaves you in suspense.