Dare Read-a Derrida Post

I watched that Derrida movie for the second time last night. There are a couple of things I am interested in that warrant further reading.

Firstly, there is a scene where he is telling the interviewer that this is all false. She says what do you mean? He says, well for instance, I do not get dressed up in the morning. I usually where my pajamas or my robe all day until I have to go out. He is wearing a button down shirt and dress pants.

Is this same quality inherent in writing and drawing? Derrida changes his daily routine because an audience will view it. Is the same true of writing? What would I be writing if no one were to read it? What would I be drawing if no one were to see it? I think it is impossible to know.

This may be the reason that Cy Twombly’s drawings interested me so much while I was in school. For a short time I was experimenting with this very thing and just last night, I felt it re-breaking the soil, and continuing the photosynthetic process in my mind. I used to put a pen in my hand and a large sketchbook under my pillow. I would begin writing just before I fell asleep. By morning it was difficult to remember anything that was written the night before. Often it was illegible. It closely resembled notes I took in Western Civ. mostly because they were taken in nearly the same circumstances. But, some good things did come out of it. The fact that there were things written that I had almost no memory of was fascinating.

The same ideology is behind the 500 drawings in one sitting task. Louise Bourgeois has a similar book entitled, "The Insomnia Drawings," but they're not nearly as good as the drawings my classmates and I made when we did the task. This idea of the audience and their inherent, or even innate effect on the painting or the writing has plagued me for a long time. I have problems keeping a sketchbook because of it.

The idea of a sketchbook should be to work out ideas visually. That means that there should be some losers in there. I cannot see the sketchbook as a separate entity. The sketchbook becomes a whole, a cohesive piece. I keep separate sketchbooks for separate types of drawings so that they match the rest of the drawings in the book. This is a direct result of an imaginary audience or, what I believe (at points) Derrida is referring to when he says "The Other."

But I wonder if it is a painting or writing if it is not going to be viewed by The Other. It seems that being seen by The Other is an inherent part of the two. Perhaps, if it is not to be seen by The Other it is an entirely different thing. I say that certain artists or people have made the biggest impact on my writing and my drawing. Tonight I believe that it is The Other that has had the biggest impact on my work. This statement should be true for all writing and painting.