(S)(E)/ME + (0!0) - (BO) +/- (FH) all over 2a

I've been looking around the Internet to substantiate a slew of topics I hoped to write about tonight. Unfortunately I wasn't able to find the information needed to prove George Bush was responsible for the blizzard that has hit the North East. I did however, find out that today (Jan. 24) (well, yesterday for all intended purposes), is/was the most depressing day of the year based on the formula [W+(D-d)]xTQ MxNA. Dr Cliff Arnall, of Cardiff University is responsible for this formula. Here is the breakdown...
..."The weather (W), debt (D) (minus the amount of money to be paid on your next pay day) and the time since Christmas (T). Then there is the time since a failed attempt to quit a bad habit (Q) along with general motivational levels (M) and the need to take action to have something to look forward to (NA).
Dr Arnall said the formula results could vary between individuals. But he believed January 24 would work out as the lowest point for many. "

I did a Google search on Dr. Arnall but all that came up was this news about how Jan. 24th is the most depressing day of the year, so it seems to me that Jan. 24th was a really good day for Dr Arnall. He's famous. If I'm ever a professor I'm going to make up some stupid formula about sunshine (S) times exercise (E) divided by self-esteem (ME), plus feeling of amorousness (O!O) minus body odor (BO) + or - the variable of facial hair (FH) all over 2a which will determine the most arousing day of the year and I'll make sure to have a deal with Hallmark and Hershey's and Courvoisier and I'll make millions.

I thought a bit about the inaugural address but all I could come up with was this short periphrasis. Four Score and Seven years ago, the great blizzard of '78 attacked the North East. Sadly, that was the best I could do.