UnPresidented Belief

$15,000,000...$350,000,000. That’s a big number. Everyone jumped on Mr. Bush for not pledging enough aid to the disaster relief fund, or for waiting three days because it would have interrupted his vacation before making a public announcement about the disaster. Believers said to not be too hasty, wait for our fearless leader’s decision. He will make an announcement when he is good and ready. We mus' int be impatient with our democratic dictator, it is a complicated disaster.

But can you blame us?

The last time we waited for our commander in chief to react, we lost a tower, a plane in Pennsylvania, and 188 lives at the Pentagon. Has Bush earned our trust… in anything? Can we really sit back and hope the guy will act in a way that represents the American people?

I wonder if the Bush family video recordings of Christmas on the ranch will look anything like this video. I dare you to watch the entire thing. It will astound you.

I can see it now. The Bush daughters cozy around a fireplace, playing with their new Hess SUV trucks. Barb and George senior are watching the Christmas comedy American History X while Laura busies herself in the kitchen with a fresh batch of mini Pretzels. They seem to give her husband a sense of power when he eats them, like he has killed yet another enemy. Rumor has it, they taste like a Japanese Prime Minister's lap after a meeting with grandpa. George junior is nearly in tears. He's yelling to his mother that its "HIS DAMN TURN," to play with the new Hess trucks and that "JENNA HAS BEEN HOGGIN THE GOOD ONE ALL NIGHT!" He is interrupted be a Secret Service Agent who whispers in his ear that there has just been a Tsunami on the poverty stricken nations of Indonesia, Sri Lanka and India. Casualties will be enormous. Silence hits the room. This is the wise man that breaks the camel's back. He grabs the Secret Service man by the eyelashes and drags him toward the fire. George Senior twists the man’s kneecaps while Barbara shoves a handful of Laura's mini pretzels (or as W. likes to call them, "mini terra-ist's with salt on them shaped like pretzels") into his mouth. This begins a peristaltic reaction. George senior tries the old teeth on the curb bit he has just learned but he is too frail to make it happen. Our benevolent leader yells, "DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, EVER DISRUPT-ITUTION MY FAMILY'S PARTY OF CHRISTMAS PARTY EVER AGAIN." He is released. The country offers a conservative amount of $15,000,000 in an attempt to avoid confrontation with his holiness, Mr. Bush. "You know how he is about money," they say. The president continues his vacation. People who actually care about this horrible accident are outraged by the president’s lackadaisical attitude. They clearly remember the president listening to a book story while our, Uhmm, His country was being attacked. If that was Mr. Bush's reaction to a catastrophe in his, Uhmm, His own country imagine what His reaction will be when it is another.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we should wait again, and know that the president's actions will be quick and to the point, just like last time.