Boooooring!

This is a working introduction to a lecture I'd like to give at the University of Georgia, which calls into question the means academics use to communicate ideas. I'd like to deliver this speech with a sweater tied at the sleeves and thrown over my shoulders.

Hello and thank you for that warm welcome. Before I get into my lecture on the Paradigmatic Shift of Painterly Positions in the Post-Historical, Pre-Maternal, Post-Paternal Platforms of the Pinnacle Poly-Procedural Partings in Art, I’d like to thank a short list of people who have helped make this pursuit possible from it’s ill at ease conception to it’s improbable infancy to it’s tedious toddlerhood to it’s childhood to it’s teenage to it’s young adult, to it’s middle aged and finally to it’s aged realization which is consequently it’s final fruition in the context of the canon of academic thought.

The list of people I’d like to thank is intrinsically imperative to this talk because it so subtly suggests an informative group of supporters who have made, not only this excursion to the Poly-Procedural Parting in Art possible, but have additionally encouraged, questioned and commented on a incalculable amount of indistinguishable resources that have fashioned themselves into a poignant, incontrovertible lecture, albeit an antagonistic one. I have divided the list of supporters into four distinct groups, each having specific characteristics respective to their influence as it pertains to instigation, information, inspiration and finally, intrepidation...(long ramble that never ends up thanking anyone)

I expect my lecture to be engaging enough to understand as well as deliver without reading str..(looks down at paper) ...mm ...mm ... ah yes, straight from the paper. This to me is the epy thome (epitome) of high thought, harkening back to an age of drama and deliverance that can only be taken as a sign of deep resolution between the known and unknown, the real and the unreal. It is the conceptual framework this talk was structured around.
(later on)
Contrary to popular belief, and I hope your all sitting down, (pause to look at crowd to assure sitting),

27

Today was my 27th birthday. 27 is a little weird. It seems like these days I tell people I'm twenty-seven and they say, "Yeah, that's about right," but when I was 23 & 24 people would say, "oh, you're just a baby, you're so young!"

Georgia weather is gorgeous. People keep telling me, "you'll miss the snow before you know it." I tell them I will not. I mean, have you ever been to Buffalo? Buffalo!? People don't bring up Buffalo and snow because it's funny or cool to talk about. Just let me enjoy the warm weather. I like being able to go outside in November without a winter coat and gloves and a hat.

I woke up this morning to a beautiful breakfast table set with one of my favorite foods, a pile of presents and a big happy boy who was excited to see his older, but gracefully ageing Daddy. We went for a walk outside to enjoy the fall weather in the afternoon. I watched the last golf tournament of the PGA season and then went to the driving range for the first time since I began graduate school. Birthdays make you feel a bit nostalgic for some reason. So in this short moment of reflection, I truly feel blessed. 27 years is a long time to be alive.